blade of grass.

I will be in the field for about a week. While I'm away, read this lengthy post, and (as we say in Jersey), "Tawk amongst yourselves." Then tawk to me via comments and emails please.


Today I heard this: "Sometimes we take life for granted instead of life as granted."

It was during a talk about paying attention, which is something I seem to think about often. Roomie and I have split in our monthly themes: she has moved on to "craftsmanship" for the month of July while I'm staying on "open to risk."

I know that I can (and do) incorporate themes from prior months into my life while moving onto a new topic; however, for July at least, I feel that I need to experiment with being open to risk. In order to be comfortable with being open to risk, one must pay attention.

In business, investors are more likely to take a risk if they have sufficient information about the venture. The FDA would never approve a drug without paying attention to the drug trials. The government would never get into a war without paying attention to correct intelligence information... oh wait. (Sorry New Englander, that's for the Asheville crowd... it's old and cliché news.)

As a TAASC or Outward Bound instructor, I need to pay attention to weather, the environment, the individual needs (or issues) of my students, and group dynamics in order to manage risk and offer challenging situations. If I didn't do that, we'd either be in a dangerous situation (such as paddling in whitewater that is way above the students' skill level during a lightning storm while one student is dehydrated, one is homesick, three are arguing...) OR we'd sit at camp (in our tents to avoid West Nile) for fear of taking any risk. The students would learn nothing about themselves or challenging situations. Pay attention and manage the risk.

I get that.

Where it gets tricky is being open to risk in relationships or career choices or other "major life" plans... things that might change my Facebook profile. Do I really pay attention in those situations? And if I do pay attention, do I make excuses or move onto the next task (after lengthy debriefs with folks like Lyssie, Sweet Sarah, Roomie, Sass, or Doc) instead of "doing small experiments" as Doc suggests? Pay attention and be open to action... open to risk.

Christine Kane had a great post about how being grateful and present attracts abundance into life. While gratitude and noticing small, sacred details in life may not seem to fit with being open to risk, I think that it does for a few reasons which Christine Kane articulates well in her post.

Because it is late and because I am getting up early, this next part will be a hodgepodge-- a bit about the link between paying attention, having gratitude, and being open to risk
and a few recent observations:

1. By being grateful, I am able to see joy as well as challenges in learning from my risks. I don't mean to sound like pollyanna, but if I only see risk as "risky" instead of as "adventurous" (with both vistas and wrong turns being okay) then I'm more likely to stay home and read jezebel than to take a bike tour on the Parkway. More on Parkway bike tours below.

2. Paying attention to possibilities also leads to confidence, which leads to action. More on this about my love for running and climbing some other time.

3. Seeing beauty and humor is more fun than being a Debbie Downer all the time. I know that I have many privileges (clean water, food, education, shelter) so this is a difficult point to make. A future post about risks that I choose will touch on this.

4. Recent pauses to pay attention:
a. Within the past month, two birthday celebrations have caught my attention. During one, friends and family paused to tell stories, read poems, and honor someone who is usually that mirror for others. In another, someone chose to take a risk and ride her bicycle on a long stretch of the parkway as a ritual for a milestone birthday. A small gathering today honored her friendship and thoughtfulness.

b. Tonight I lost a dart game to a nine year old and a six (I think?) year old. As they rummaged in my car to find something that they could take for winning, I noticed how the temperature was perfect and how I enjoyed spending time with their funny little family. (In the end, they claimed my CPR book and a box of tea tree toothpicks when I wouldn't give them my camera or my box of tampons.)

c. Then, on the way home I noticed how the sky had a thick and low strip of pink hovering over the horizon.

d. I notice how I feel when I read Gary Snyder, Annie Dillard, or Mary Oliver

e. There's a little friend of mine named Lucy who I see every few months at social gatherings. Whenever I see her, she says, "HI KD!" with a surprised happiness that makes me gleeful. It's like the human reaction of what Connor (my friends' border collie) does when I see him.

f. The sometimes calm sometimes scary sometimes vast sometimes vivid sometimes foggy sometimes rough sometimes lamb's ear sometimes dappled sometimes misty sometimes dripping sometimes crisp nature of being outside.

5. So what? What does the giggle of my nieces and nephew or seeing a sunset have to do with deciding about an MBA or DATE or LIFE? (Did anyone think that was funny?)

I'm not quite sure, actually. For now I'll turn to Mary Oliver with an excerpt from "The Summer Day," (from New and Selected Poems):

"i don't know exactly what a prayer is
i do know how to pay attention, how to fall down into the grass
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what i have been doing all day.
tell me, what else should i have done?
doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?"


.....
Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?